An Unwanted Destiny
by Mardia
Summary: Ginny had expected that Harry would never feel the same way she did. What she hadn't expected was that fate would never allow her to get over him. Ever. ~ON HOLD~
1. And It Begins

Title: An Unwanted Destiny

Author: Mardia

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Angst/Romance

Pairings: Harry/Ginny

Summary: Ginny had expected that Harry would never feel the same way she did. What she hadn't been expecting was that fate would never allow her to get over him.

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling own Harry Potter and everything you recognize here. So don't sue.

Professor Trelawney had started the whole thing. She had invited an old friend 'who has been given the gift of the Inner Eye' to Hogwarts. The friend, a certain Madame De Courcy, was allegedly skilled in seeing the destinies of other people. Few believed this, as Professor Trelawney's own reliability as a Seer was called into question on a regular basis. 

Madame had said that she would agree to students seeing her for her prophecies…insisting, however, that she would only be asked one question per student.

Ginny hadn't planned on seeing Madame De Courcy, believing her to be nothing but a fraud. Although she didn't take Divination, she had heard Hermione's rants on the subject enough so she was wary of most witches or wizards who claimed to be Seers.

But Colin had managed to talk Ginny into consulting her. "Oh, come on, Ginny," he had wheedled. "We can have a good laugh afterwards."

Only Ginny wasn't laughing right now.

~*~

"Ginny?"

She couldn't breathe. She couldn't cry. 

Colin looked down at her, worried. "G-Ginny? What's wrong?"

She looked up at him. "Nothing," she muttered hoarsely. "I-I need to go lie down, Colin. I'm not feeling well."

"D'you want to go to the hospital wing?" Colin asked, his eyes wide with concern.

She shook her head. "I just want to lay down-"

"At least let me walk you back-"

Not wanting to argue, Ginny said, "Okay."

~*~

As Ginny lay in her bedroom, the reality of the situation started to sink in.

_"There are people who have many loves in their lifetime...you are not one of those people."_

Her breathing was unsteady. It felt like there was a great weight on her chest.

_"I'm sorry, my dear...but your feelings for this young man...they are not going to go away. Ever."_

_"So...so I'll never be over him? Ever?"_

~*~

Colin went down to the common room to see Harry and Ron playing chess, with Hermione watching them. "Um, Hermione?"

Hermione looked up. "Oh, hello, Colin. Something wrong?"

"Could-could you go and check on Ginny?" Colin whispered urgently. "We went to go see Madame De Courcy and when Ginny came out, she was ashen and her hands were shaking and--well, I'm rather worried."

Ron, overhearing, went instantly into overprotective-brother mode.

"Maybe I should go up there-" he muttered.

"No," Hermione said, trying not to notice the fact that Ron looked adorable when he was worried. Honestly, this _really_ wasn't the time... "I'll go up there and see what's wrong-"

"And then you'll tell us, right?" Harry asked, looking almost as worried as Ron.

"Let me see what's wrong first," Hermione told him, then went up the stairs.

~*~

Ginny's thoughts whirled around in circles. 

_Maybe she's a fraud...probably having a laugh with Professor Trelawney now about scaring that poor fourth-year..._

But with brutal accuracy, her mind recalled the words Professor Dumbledore had said when Colin had asked about consulting Madame De Courcy...

"Her accuracy rating is really quite high...on the average, she's correct in her predictions about 99.76% of the time," Dumbledore had said seriously. "So I suggest you think long and hard before you see her...after all, you might not like what you hear."

And Dumbledore was right. Ginny hadn't liked what she'd heard. Not one bit.

~*~

Hermione knocked on the door. 

"Ginny? It's Hermione. Can I come in?"

There was a pause. Then Ginny said tonelessly, "All right."

Hermione opened the door and walked in. 

The first thing she noticed was the dazed look on Ginny's face. Her friend looked as if her world had just been destroyed.

"Ginny?" Hermione asked tentatively. "Are-are you all right?" Hermione already knew the answer though. 

No. Ginny was not in any way whatsoever okay.

Ginny blinked and stared at her like she had seen Hermione for the first time. "I'm fine, Hermione," she insisted, giving her a smile.

For some reason, that smile scared Hermione more than the dazed look of before had.

"Are you sure? Because Colin said you seemed upset..."

"Oh, I'm fine. Madame De Courcy just startled me a bit," Ginny told Hermione, smiling brightly. "Really, though, she's just the same as Professor Trelawney...prophecies of doom and gloom and all that."

"So you're all right, then?" Hermione asked, knowing instinctively that she wasn't. 

"Of course I am!" Ginny said. "I really need to get started on my homework, though-"

Hermione nodded slowly.

"Well...if you're sure you're okay..."

"I'm sure, Hermione," she told her. 

_That's right, Ginny, just smile and nod...never mind the fact that your life's been shattered..._

Hermione turned and walked towards the door, then turned. "Ginny, I'll be around...if you need to talk…" she trailed off, hoping Ginny would explain what was going on.

Ginny nodded. "I know."

Disappointed, Hermione walked out of the room, sighing softly as she closed the door.

_Well, _Hermione thought to herself, _I don't know what that was about, but I know it wasn't good._

~*~

Ginny sank down onto the edge of her bed.

_I'll never be free,_ she realized. _Ever._

She shivered.

_I'll always care about him...always. Next year, and the year after that, and when I leave Hogwarts and-and he never will. He won't care the way that I do and-_

_And I'll be left alone._

Ginny had known Harry didn't feel the same way she did. She hadn't blamed him, or thought that there was even a possibility that he could ever learn to. He saw her as his best friend's kid sister, and she had learned to accept that, believing that one day she would simply have to get over him. 

Until today, when that belief had been broken.

_"You are destined for one love...and one love only," Madame said sadly. "There will be no 'getting over it'...not in your case."_

Tears started rolling down Ginny's cheeks.

_Oh God...I'll never be in love with anyone else...and he'll never be in love with me...and he'll always be there, because he's Ron's friend and because he saved my life...and I'll probably have to go to his wedding and see him have children and-_

_And I'll be alone. For the rest of my life._

_Alone..._

Finally, Ginny broke down and cried.


	2. Denial, Hogsmeade, and Colin Creevey

_A/N: There are plenty of stories in which Ginny either attempts or actually commits suicide. This is NOT one of them. Ginny will not comtemplate, attempt, or commit suicide. Just to let you guys know. However, she's not going to be a complete angel either. _

Life went on, of course. The earth doesn't stop spinning on its axis simply because someone is miserable. The sun still rose in the morning and set at night, Malfoy was still a prat, Ron and Hermione still weren't admitting to how they felt. 

And Ginny was still completely miserable.

~*~

She woke up the next morning, not knowing why she was feeling so lost. Then with a sick rush, she remembered.

_Madame De Courcy...your destiny...**Harry**..._

She fell back against the pillows. _I wonder,_ she thought drearily, _if I could just stay here..._

"Ginny!" one of her roommates called. "Time to get up!"

_Apparently not._

~*~

Ron, Hermione, and Harry were chatting away about Snuffles's latest letter when Ginny finally came down to breakfast. 

Hermione looked at her with alarm, noticing the dark circles under her eyes and the listless expression on her face. Somehow, Ginny seemed so small and helpless and-_lost_. 

"Gin?" Ron asked, looking at his little sister anxiously. "Ginny, what's wrong?"

Ginny looked at her brother. "I'm fine, Ron." Her voice was quite expressionless. "Just fine." She sat down and stared at the food blankly. 

"Do you want some pumpkin juice?" Harry offered after a moment.

Ginny started at the sound of his voice. "No," she muttered, still staring at her plate of untouched food.

Harry looked helplessly at Ron and Hermione, unsure what to do. Trying to be comforting, he reached out across the table and touched her shoulder.

Ginny flinched and jumped out of her seat.

Harry stared at her, his jaw dropping open. And he wasn't the only one.

"I-I have to go," Ginny muttered, and practically ran out of the Great Hall.

"Oy, Ron!" Fred called out. His good-natured face was frowning. "What was that about?"

Ron shrugged helplessly, staring after his sister. "Dunno."

~*~

"She _flinched_."

Later, as the three friends walked to the Quidditch pitch, Harry would not shut up about what happened this morning.

"She actually _flinched_, like I was going to hit her or-"

"I'm sure it wasn't like that, Harry," Hermione said soothingly. But she looked worried, something that Harry didn't miss.

"Did I do something?" Harry asked plaintively. 

Ron shook his head. "Nothing that I can think of, mate."

~*~

After on, Ron turned to Hermione. "Look," he said quietly, "d'you think you can find out what's wrong with Ginny? Maybe it's one of those girl things, and since you're a girl-"

"How nice of you to notice," Hermione said sarcastically. "But I will talk to her. She's not acting like herself."

"You're telling me," Ron muttered, shaking his head. "_Flinching_…listen, you'd better find out quick, alright?"

Hermione nodded.

~*~

Ginny stared out the window. 

_I hate this. _

Not since her first year had she felt so…cut off from everything, from her friends and family and...

Her lips tightened. 

_This isn't fair. It's not fair._

"Um, Ginny?"

Ginny turned to see Colin behind her.

"Hullo, Colin," she said quietly and turned back to the window. It was rather rude of her, of course, but she just wasn't in the mood to deal with his questions.

"Ginny-I know you're tired of hearing this, but-are you _sure_ you're-"

"I'm fine, Colin." She winced inwardly at how abrupt that sounded. "Seriously, though," she added with an apologetic smile, "I'm okay."

Colin seemed to buy it, because his answering smile looked more relaxed. He sat down next to her on the window seat. "You know..." Colin said, carefully not looking at her, instead staring at the ground, "there's a trip to Hogsmeade coming up tomorrow."

Ginny raised an eyebrow. "Yeah..." she said, unsure of where he was going with this. 

Colin's hand brushed against hers. Looking down, she realized with a sense of shock that he was lacing his fingers with hers. 

He still wasn't looking at her. "I was thinking...we should go together."

Ginny had no idea where to even _look_, much less _say_. A part of her had known, without really acknowledging it, that Colin liked her as more than a friend.

_I should say no...I _have _to say no..._

_Why though?_

Her mouth, ignoring the turmoil in her head, opened. "As friends or as...what?"

Colin's breathing was a little unsteady, and Ginny realized just how much courage it had taken him to do this. He was actually _nervous_. Nervous about asking _her_ out.

"I-I don't want to go as just friends...if that's okay." 

Ginny distractedly noticed that Colin wasn't so bad-looking after all, and of course, he was quite sweet...

_Have you lost your mind?_ a part of her screamed. _Don't you remember what Madame said?_

_I do remember, but I can't be sure that she's right...And Colin's sweet. I like him. It's not like we're going to get married..._

"All right," Ginny said quickly, before she could talk herself out of the idea. 

Colin finally looked at her, his eyes wide. "R-really?"

"Yeah," Ginny said, smiling at him. 

Colin's face broke out into a huge smile. He clumsily kissed her on the cheek, then glanced at his watch. "Oh...bugger, I've got detention with Filch..."

"We'll talk later," she told him quickly, ignoring the pricks that her conscience was giving her.

Colin's smile grew smaller, but wasn't dimmed in intensity. "Yeah...yeah, okay." He turned and started walking out, then just as he got to the portrait hole, he turned. "You did say yes, right?"

Ginny managed to stop herself from laughing hysterically. Unable to stop a giggle or two from escaping, she said as seriously as possible, "I believe so, yes."

She hadn't thought it possible for Colin's smile to get any bigger, but she was wrong. "Amazing," he said, grinning madly. "See you later then."

"Yeah," Ginny replied. "See you later."

As Colin left, Ginny turned back to the window again. 

_It'll be okay_, she tried to reassure herself. _This can work after all. It'll be fine. You're going to be okay..._

_I just want everything to be okay again, _Ginny thought in despair. _Please let everything be okay again. **Please. **Just let it be okay again._

_"I just want to feel...safe in my own skin...I just want to be happy again..."_

_Dido, Honestly OK_


	3. Destiny aka Harry Interferes

Hermione knocked on the door. "Ginny, are you in there?"

She managed to make out the sound of giggling. Then one of Ginny's roommates, (Hermione thought her name was Shannon or Sarah) opened the door, her face red. "Hello," she managed to sputter through her laugher, "Ginny's right here…"

Hermione walked in to see about five other girls hovering around Ginny, talking excitedly. 

"Oooh, Ginny, what are you going to wear?"

"I _always_ thought he fancied you…"

Ginny was on the floor, rummaging through her trunk. She flashed Hermione a quick smile. "Hi, Hermione."

"Hello," Hermione replied slowly. "What's going on?"

All of Ginny's roommates immediately burst out into laughter. Ginny flushed a bit. "Just looking over what I'll be wearing-"

"-for her _date,"_ another girl finished.

Hermione's eyebrows went up in surprise. "You're going out on a date? With who?"

"Colin Creevey," Shannon/Sarah said, grinning. "He asked her today…he's fancied her for _ages_…so sweet…"

Hermione looked at Ginny, unsure. Yes, Ginny seemed happy…but where was that shrinking girl that had bewildered all of them at breakfast this morning?

"Um, Ginny-can I talk to you-_alone_?"

Was it just her imagination, or did Ginny's eyes grow wary? "Of course," Ginny said smoothly, and walked out with Hermione into the corridor.

Hermione wasted no time. "What was that at breakfast?"

"What was what?" Ginny asked, playing innocent.

Hermione hissed, "You _know_ what. Flinching when Harry touched you. You're not acting like yourself, Ginny. Ron's worried, I'm worried, _Harry's_ worried-"

Ginny snorted and muttered, "I doubt that."

Hermione's eyes widened. "Ginny, what is the _matter_ with you? And since when do you like Colin Creevey anyway?"

Ginny shrugged with one shoulder. She looked at Hermione and decided to tell the truth-well, a part of it, anyway. "Hermione…he _likes_ me. It's _nice _to have someone notice you. And he's a sweet guy, even if he isn't-" Ginny stopped abruptly, her cheeks stained a dark red. She kept her eyes on the floor, unwilling to see the pitying look on Hermione's face.

"I see," Hermione said softly. And she did see. If Ginny was tired of waiting for Harry to notice her, then why shouldn't she move on? God knows Hermione was growing tired of waiting for-

Well. That was a different story.

"Ginny…I won't say anything to your brother or-anyone else," Hermione promised. "But you might want to tell them yourself…"

Ginny shrugged again. "Colin's probably going to say something…and besides, they'll see me with him at Hogsmeade tomorrow."

Hermione couldn't really argue with that. "Right…well, I'll see you later."

"Yeah," Ginny said. 

~*~

All in all, Ginny thought, things were going well. 

She had met Colin outside the Great Hall after breakfast. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and she was wearing lip gloss. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw her brothers and Harry stare at them, then whisper urgently to Hermione, who smiled and said nothing.

_Maybe I should tell Hermione after all..._a part of her mind whispered. But no. As nice and as friendly as Hermione was, she was Harry's friend first. Explaining the situation to her was not only foolish, but-

_It would destroy everything._

But she wouldn't think about that. She wouldn't think about Harry or about Madame or the stupid prophecy that probably wasn't even true-

No, she would think about Colin. 

Ginny looked at Colin. They were walking to the Three Broomsticks, and as they did so, his shoulder would occasionally brush hers.

"What are you thinking about?" Colin asked abruptly. 

_Harry. The batty old witch who told me I was destined to always be in love with a guy that isn't you. _

"Nothing," Ginny said lightly. "Hey, have you finished your paper for Charms?"

As she predicted, Colin got excited at the mention of his favorite subject. "Oh, yeah...Summoning Charms are quite simple really..."

Ginny realized she was enjoying this. Enjoying talking to Colin, walking with him.

_This is okay,_ she admitted. _More than okay._

~*~

They walked back, hand in hand, to Gryffindor Tower. Colin stopped right when they were about to turn the corner that would lead them to the portrait hole. "Ginny…wait."

Ginny looked up at him. "Yes?"

Colin hesitated, then reached out and started twirling her hair. Ginny's breath caught in her throat for a second, then she relaxed. Amazing how calm she felt, considering this was her first date with a boy who really liked her.

"Um, I think I'm about to kiss you right now," were the words that rushed out of his mouth. "If that's all right."

Ginny stared at him for a moment, and then smiled gently. "All right."

Colin wasted no time. The kiss was hesitant, unsure, and sweet. A lot like Colin, as a matter of fact. 

She took stock of her feelings. She felt calm and content. Maybe this would work out after all. 

~*~

When she and Colin finally walked into Gryffindor Tower, they were greeted with cat-calls and hoots from Colin's roommates. Blushing hard, Colin quickly said good-bye to her and headed off to his friends, who were all grinning at him and looking over at Ginny as she sat down on a couch.

Strange, how unembarrassed she was. There wasn't a hint of red on her cheeks. 

"Oy, Creevey!" 

Ginny stifled a groan. Fred and George. She should have been expecting this...

"Just who gave you permission to date our baby sister, eh?" Fred asked, frowning, though Ginny knew he was just kidding. 

"Careful now, Fred," George said, clapping a hand on Colin's shoulder. "Wouldn't want to scare off our future brother-in-law, now."

Ginny shook her head. Okay, now she was embarrassed. Well, a little bit, at least. It was all in good fun, really. 

Colin didn't seem to mind, either. In fact, he seemed to be taking it in stride. Occasionally he would look over at her and smile, letting her know he was okay with it. 

"They bothering you?"

Ginny turned to see Ron and Harry sitting down on the couch on each side of her. For absolutely no reason at all, her heart, which had been beating normally a few moments ago, started to speed up.

_Oh, no, no, no, not again...not **now**..._

"No," she told Ron, trying very hard to keep calm. _Just relax, you're over it now, it's all over..._ "It's all right. After all, they're just Fred and George." 

"Have you seen Hermione?" Harry asked. "We need some help with our Tranfiguration paper..."

_Ah. Of course. This is just about Hermione. You are not going to blush, Ginny, don't you dare-oh, dammit._

She looked down to hide her pink cheeks. Not trusting her voice, Ginny shook her head. It didn't matter, though, Ron spotted Hermione coming through the portrait hole. "Hermione, I need to see your paper...what d'you mean I can't see it..."

As he was about to leave after Ron, Harry gently laid a hand on her shoulder. "Ginny...I hope you had a nice time today. Colin's a nice guy."

She nodded. Harry smiled at her, obviously relieved that she hadn't recoiled from his touch. Without a backward glance, he went and joined his friends. 

Ginny sank back into the couch, still feeling his warm hand on his shoulder. Her heart was still racing, and her mouth was dry from what she was just realizing. 

_This isn't over. Not by a long shot._

The calm she had felt throughout the entire day, not being nervous at all...that wasn't because the prophecy wasn't true...it was because the prophecy _was_ true.

_And Colin isn't the one for you. No one is. No one but Harry._

_Oh, no, **Colin**..._

Suddenly feeling incredibly guilty, Ginny looked over at Colin, hoping her feelings weren't written all over her face, hoping Colin hadn't noticed anything-

_And you're hoping he hasn't realized just how horrible you really are, right, Ginny? Hoping he hasn't realized you've just been using him-_

But Colin was just smiling good-naturedly at her brothers' jokes. He hadn't seen anything at all. She turned her gaze back to the fire, her thoughts whirling. 

_So it's true. It's all true. So you and Colin..._

_There can't be a you and Colin. There was never a you and Colin in the first place. No matter how much you might try to fool yourself...it's just not going to happen. _

Ginny's head ached. Her heart ached. Everything ached. 

_I never realized love could hurt this much._

Obviously, Ginny realized she would have to tell Colin something. She didn't know what, but-

_You can't keep lying to him. You can't use him like he's an experiment or something to help distract you from Harry..._

"Ginny?"

She looked up drearily. Shannon was standing in front of her. "Are you okay? Because for a girl who just went out with a guy who's crazy about her, you don't seem too happy."

Ginny shrugged. "I'm just really-" _Miserable. Guilty. Rotten. Pick an adjective, they'll all fit._ "-tired," she finished.

"Then go to bed," Shannon said. Go to bed. Too bad simply going to her bed wouldn't fix her problems. But she was simply too worn out to deal with Colin tonight. Tomorrow, when she'd had some time to reflect-

_You can go and tell a guy who's stood by you for ages that he's just not good enough. _

Ginny wasn't angry at herself. She was _disgusted_ with herself. It was bad enough she'd managed to fall for a guy who was never going to be interested in her, but she also had to use her best friend to try and get over him. 

_And I thought Malfoy was rotten._

~*~

A/N: Okay, at the end of any chapter I'll try to answer questions that the readers might have. 

EmeraldDream, yes, what Ginny is doing is unfair to Colin. Obviously, she realizes this at the end. I took the view that since she probably doesn't have too much romantic experience and has just been told some of the most horrible things a person can hear, she wasn't going to necessarily know what to do. But you have to understand, she was flattered that somebody genuinely cared for her like that. In a way, she was kind of thumbing her nose at Harry, Madame De Courcy and fate when she went out with him. Ginny isn't going to be a saint in this story. Thanks for the great reviews, and I'm glad you like it.

Morganite: Sorry to disappoint you, but no, Ginny is not going to end up falling head-over-heels for Draco Malfoy. Harry IS her one true love, after all. However, some unrequited feelings on the part of Ferretboy towards the youngest Weasley are a possibilty. (Keep in mind this is a BIG maybe.)

Darcel: You know I like hearing your opinion on all my fics. Makes me feel like I'm doing something right. And as for a happy fluffy ending, I can't make any promises. This story is in the angst genre for a reason.

ShadowRomantic: Thanks for the encouragment and I PROMISE I'll finish this fic. But I do have two other WIPs to work on. 

Punkin: Yup, there's a lot of angst here. Harry's going to suffer a bit too, from Ginny's crazy moods. Hey, the boy's been ignoring her for the past 4 years. He deserves to suffer a bit too, don't you think?

Heath: Yes, there are going to be more chapters. At least 7 in all, possibly more.

Erika Skyfire: Yeah, I'm enjoying writing all the angst too.

Kelzery: I can't make any promises, but Ginny won't be in the total depths of despair for the rest of her life. Come on, I'm not _that_ evil. BTW, loved your fic Dreaming.

And thanks to Shawn, KeeperOfTheMoon, domino84, JediHermione, Duchess Biggerstaff, coconut-ice agent h/h (sorry, but we really don't agree on the Harry/Hermione front), LittleShyGirl, (I'm flattered, believe me!) and Eraserhead for taking the time to review. 

Thanks for the wonderful reviews and praise. You're all making my ego shoot through the roof.


End file.
